Various Dolls - JCPenney Christmas Catalog - 1987

 

      

     I couldn't pick which line of dolls from this page I wanted to cover, so I didn't. Submitted for your approval are both Lady Lovelylocks and Moondreamers. Lady Lovelylocks is arguably the most well-known of the two sets. If I can be honest, my biggest memory of Lady Lovelylocks is that my sister had the coloring book. That doesn't make a good blog entry, though. I can recall that each doll came with hair clips (and I mean that literally. They were clips with hair attached.) They were crazy colors and I always thought the dolls looked better without them. There's just something about punked out girls dressed as conservative princesses that doesn't really work for me. Whatever. What I really want to talk about is the Moondreamers.
    I know a little something about Moondreamers. My sister and I each had one. Tracy had doll 02 and I had doll 03. We didn't ask for these, we just got them. I was actually pretty fond of my Moondreamer because she was one of the few dolls out there that came with glasses (which I had to start wearing the next year.) I'm not sure who gave us these dolls, most likely my grandparents, but they gave me the one I would have picked anyway. She was the only blonde doll with pants and glasses. Finally, a fantasy character I could relate to. These dolls were cute as a button, too. It looks like they each had a star comb stuck in their hair. I don't remember that. Most likely, our star combs didn't make it to January. What I do remember were those necklaces. I don't remember exactly which one came with Tracy's, but I know mine came with that blue teardrop. They were iridescent plastic (remember what I said in the Spectra entry about iridescent stuff?) that showed every greasy kid fingerprint. They came on this scratchy gold thread. I didn't wear mine around or anything, but I remember that it was stuck in with all of my stuff and I ran across it pretty frequently.
    Personally, I find the Moondreamers to be much cooler than those prissy Lady Lovelylocks dolls, but that's just my opinion.

Watches - JCPenney Christmas Catalog - 1988

 

       There's a lot going on in the picture above. I understand if you need to take a minute. What you see is just one of the pages devoted to cheap plastic watches in the 1988 catalog. I chose this one, because it has some of my favorites. The whole top of the page is claimed by The California Raisins. The popularity of the Raisins is something I doubt I'll ever be able to explain to my children. I'm not even sure it's something that would work today. It was just the right idea at the right time that got everyone eating raisins and buying raisin-themed merchandise. Whoever came up with the ad campaign for The California Raisins should be hailed as an advertising god. Just think of the fact that kids all over America wanted to wear watches adorned with raisins! They were asking for them for Christmas! They're the most represented character on the page! Ahhh...good old 1988.
     There's the standby G.I. Joe watch, which continues to prove Mattel's lack of creativity when it comes to anything other than toys. ("G.I. Joe sweatsuit? Make it camouflaged and slap a logo on there. G.I. Joe sleeping bag? Make it camouflaged and slap a logo on there. G.I. Joe watch? Make it camouflaged and slap a logo on there.")
     Moving down the page, we come to my favorite entry: the ALF watch. That's not your average character watch. That's ALF's freakin' head wrapped around your wrist! How cool is that?! It's like a toy and watch in one. Honestly, I didn't realize ALF was still popular in 1988. I was thinking he was earlier than that, but I guess not. You know what it's like when you get old, you start losing track of time.
     Continuing, there's the Pee-Wee Herman watch. Poor Pee-Wee. He was a shoe-in for best watch until that cuddly ALF showed up. You would lift up Pee-Wee's 3-D face to see the time. As cool as that is, my favorite part is actually that they painted his trademark gray suit down the watch band. It's the details, man.
     That brings us to the last items on the page: The Howdy Doody items. I remember 1988 pretty well, and I don't remember any type of Howdy Doody revival. I remember that there was some sort of special on (I guess it could have been that year) that may have celebrated some sort of anniversary*. I think that was the extent of it, and since I was probably one of the only people who watched it, I'm pretty confused as to why they decided to go for the Howdy Doody merchandising. My guess is that the items were already in production before they realized their attempts at renewing Howdy Doody interest fell flat.
     So, I guess that makes this a perfect watch page. There were the big trends, the attempted trends, and everything in between. It's like 1988 summed up in cheap digital watches. Kind of makes you feel all warm and fuzzy, doesn't it?

(*After doing a little research, I can, indeed, confirm that a Howdy Doody 40th Anniversary Special aired that year. In fact, it was even released on video. I guess other people DID watch it.)

Beta Home Video Camera - Sears Wish Book - 1982

 

       Whenever you see a web article or blog entry about old technology, they tend to take an almost superior tone as if to say, "Look at what idiots we were, using computers the size of a room just because that was all we had at the time." I prefer to look at items like this with appreciation of where we've been and how far we've come. This particular entry holds a warm place in my heart because I'm a huge home video enthusiast.  If you look closely at the above picture, you'll see a camera on the left (it's easy to miss since they made the curious decision of showing a black camera on a black background), with two decks to the right. It was difficult to get all of this because it took the entire catalog spread and it didn't all fit on the scanner, but I had to get it all. You see, not a single piece of this was optional equipment. If you wanted to make home videos, you needed all of those pieces. You could buy them separately if you needed to, but it was in your best interest to buy them all at once. They gave you $500 off if you did that. To buy the pieces separately cost $2689.90. To give that context, the average price of a new car was $7,983. The average yearly income was $21,073. It's a miracle that home videos caught on long enough for the technology to improve. Video cameras had been around for a while, but having a portable deck was a big deal (since, before that, you were pretty much tethered to your home deck.)
     I had to get a new camcorder this year. It fits in the palm of my hand. The battery came with a choking warning.

Hair Products - Sears Wish Book - 1989

 

       Hello. My name is Lori and I owned a crimper. In fact, I got my crimper for Christmas. It may have even been the Christmas of 1989. Yeah, in the late 80's, big hair was on the way out and we were trying to figure out what to do next. There was the standard crimper, as I mentioned before, that just made your hair wavy all over (I'm relieved to think that there are people out there who need to have crimping explained to them.) Then, when we got bored of that, we turned to gadgets like the Conair Impressions. As you can see, it allowed you to be on the cutting edge by frying various designs in your hair. You could add different plates so you could have hearts, stars, or (if you dared) hip, wavy lines. But, there were still some who weren't quite ready for the next generation of styling devices. For them we had...

 

     The perm was not dead yet and Windmere had just the product for protecting your curly locks. Of course, I don't need to tell you what my favorite part of this is. Oh yeah, it's the inset to say, "See, guys? You can use this too!" My hope is that men saw that and said, "Oh my gosh! Do I really look that ridiculous?" You know, I remember 1989, and I don't think that look was in style even then. For women? Oh yeah. For men? Oh no, no, no. It's a wonder we aren't all bald.

Boys Pajamas - JCPenney Christmas Catalog - 1987

 

       So, apparently, little boys start out wearing pajamas. At what point do they become grown men who embarrass their children by walking around at night in nothing but tighty-whiteys? No one I know has a dad who wears more than underwear to bed at night. Each generation, the women of America try to raise pajama-liking men by enticing them with character pajamas at a young age. Alas, it never works. Still, we try.
     These were some of the offerings for the boys of my generation (I'm married to one now. Like I said, it never works.) Even as a girl, the logos on these pajamas take me back. When I turned to this page, I actually said out loud, "Oh my gosh! Captain Bravestarr!", which proves I really need to get a better grip on this habit of talking to myself. I actually don't remember a lot about Bravestarr other than the fact that he existed. I don't even think he was really called "Captain Bravestarr" because he clearly looks like a sheriff. Maybe he was "Sheriff Bravestarr"? I don't remember. I'm playing the gender card on this one. I remember much more about the Silverhawks, a line of toys that pulled off the part human/part machine thing much better than Spectra. I didn't own any of them, but I was quite partial to the blue ones. For one, because they were blue, and because the only female of the line (that I knew of anyway) was blue. They were so shiny. I like shiny things. Aside from the trans-generational Mickey and G.I. Joe sets, there's also Lazer Tag. I'm not sure I should admit this, but Mike and I were just talking recently about how cool it would be to get some old Lazer Tag toys on eBay and play in the backyard (since we both wanted it as kids and didn't get it.) Yeah, Lazer Tag was pricey and very desirable. I'm not sure what I thought I would do with it if I had it. My sister was three years younger than I was. A Lazer Tag session could have only ended one way: her in tears and me in trouble.
     I'm starting to think that these were sold more as casual outfits than pajamas because it looks like you had to buy the pants separate from the tops. Well, if you're going to make it that complicated, it's no wonder males give up.

Jazzie Dolls - Sears Wish Book - 1989

 

       First of all, let me say that Sears knows how to give Barbie proper respect. I can't even tell you how many pages of the 1989 Wish Book were devoted to Barbie and her friends. There were showcase pages like the one you see above for every line of Barbie they sold that year (back in the days when they still did that sort of thing.) Safari Barbie (and her like-themed friends) had a page, Funtime Barbie had a page, Barbie and the Rockers had at least one page (I think there were too many accessories to be contained.) They weren't kidding around. In the midst of all that, I found Jazzie.
     Since Barbie's mega-successful debut into the toy world, there have been many other doll lines introduced to capitalize on that success. Some have been successful (Ken and friends, Skipper and friends), while many more have fallen by the wayside (remember Hasbro's Maxie or Kenner's superior Darci?) In the late 80's, feeling that there wasn't a doll meeting the role-playing needs between pre-teen Skipper and young adult (more like "ambiguously-aged") Barbie, Mattel introduced Jazzie. The little girls of the world responded with, "We're fine, thanks." I can't tell you exactly why that was. I can tell you that I always felt it was an unattractive line of dolls. Not completely unlike real teens, Jazzie dolls looked kind of awkward. I always thought their heads were a bit oversized. I never felt like Jazzie had very pretty clothing either. You can't blame her too much for that, though. The late 80's/early 90's didn't have much going for it in that department. You can't say that Mattel skimped on the accessories, though. Where as Barbie was the kind of all-American girl who tooled around in Corvettes, Jazzie got the totally-European Volkswagen Cabriolet. She even got her own adorably-detailed Burger King to rival her cousin Barbie's 1983 McDonald's playset (one of the very few things I asked for on Santa's knee that I still mourn not getting.)
     My theory: Jazzie is now the mother of the Bratz, forcing them into the spotlight like a former beauty queen trying to relive her own salad days through her overly made-up daughters. It's just a theory.

Speak & Learn Toys - Sears Wish Book - 1981

 

       Yesterday we covered Game Boy and today we're looking at a whole different electronic toy. I wanted all of the Speak & Learn toys, but I only had that beautiful yellow Speak & Read. Looking at this catalog page, I can't even believe I had that. $54.99?! I think it was another year or two before I got mine, so maybe it came down significantly in price by that time. That's all I can figure. I was a cute kid, but not $54.99-for-a-toy kind of cute.
     In the days before every kid had a Leappad or V-smile, these toys were a really big deal. Remember, this was 1981. Even having a PC in the home was still a pretty new concept. Lucky was the kid (like me) who was able to have one of these. As far as I know, each one of these worked the same way. There was a variety of activities and games based on the concept you wanted to learn. The Speak & Read had games for, among other things, letter recognition, word recognition, associating the sound of the word with the spelling, and associating a picture of the word with the spelling. Each toy was able to be used on its own, but for enhanced learning, you could buy modules. Actually, according to the catalog, it looks like only Speak & Read supported that. I can say from experience that these toys pass the test of time. Well, that is, if the electronics last that long. My first Speak & Read has gone to the great electronic graveyard in the sky, but I found one in a thrift store a couple of years ago for $1.95 on a day they were having a 50% off toy sale. I brought that baby home, plugged it in, and got into it all over again. I defy you to play Letter Stumper and not find yourself hooked. Leapfrog thinks it's so special. Ha!

Game Boy - JCPenney Christmas Catalog - 1996

 

       I have so much love for the Game Boy. Ironically, Mike and I were just talking about Game Boys last night, specifically how smaller isn't always better. Since its birth, there have been many improvements to the original design. We've gotten color graphics, bigger screens, backlighting (which seemed to take forever to get), more efficient power (no more 4 "AA"s), even double screens and a stylus for expanded game play. The one "improvement" I haven't been so fond of has been it's smaller size. Look at that brick of a Game Boy up there. That's a substantial game player! While the smaller sizes have made Game Boys more portable than ever, I can't play the Game Boy Advance without my hands cramping up. Game Boy had been around a while by the time Christmas 1996 came around. In fact, if you look, they'd already released the Pocket Game Boy which, admittedly, I'd forgotten about. We were two years away from Game Boy Color, so this was pretty much the end of the line for our chunky, green-screened friend.
     I still own my original Game Boy. Heck, I still have its original box, which it now sits in. I got mine a few Christmases before 1996. I remember heading out to the Colonial Heights Wal-Mart a couple of days after Christmas. I had every penny of my Christmas money with the intention of making my Game Boy dreams a reality. Game Boys were big ticket items, so I had to get a blue vested employee to unlock the case and hand it to me. It was almost too much. I remember playing with it in the car; the exhilaration of that "ding" as the Nintendo logo flashed on the screen for the first time. Even to this day, when I open the box and pull out my old school Game Boy, for a split second I'm 12 years old again. Yeah, by today's standards, Game Boy looks archaic, but I could bust it out right now with its original Tetris cartridge and easily waste the rest of the day.

Prince of Thieves Playset - JCPenney Christmas Catalog - 1991

 

  Look into my eyes, you will see, what you mean to me... We didn't watch movies much at all when I was young, so it'll be of no surprise to you when I say I've never seen "Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves". Honestly, I wouldn't have had much interest in it even if we had been a movie watching family. All that adventure stuff...that was for boys. I remember when the movie came out, but in my mind I always imagined it as more of an adult version of Robin Hood - more drama, less action. I didn't really think of it as the kind of movie that would generate action figures and playsets. Clearly, I was mistaken. For Christmas 1991, boys everywhere were able to get their Kevin Costner on and do it Sherwood Forest style...I'm sorry, but there's just no way I can make this sound exciting. What were you supposed to do with them? There was only one bad guy in the playset - the sheriff. There were no rich people to rob from, no poor people to give to, not even random forest animals to attack in self defense. It was just Robin Hood and his Merry Men going, "What do you want to do today?" "I don't know, what do you want to do today?" "Wanna beat up the Sheriff again?" "Nah, we've done that every day this week." You know it's true, everything I do, I do it for you...

Spectra - JCPenney Christmas Catalog - 1987

 

    Two girly entries in a row! Here's a long-forgotten doll line from Mattel. As with Barbie, the line was named after the lead doll, Spectra, and included all of her tagalong friends. The thing about Spectra and her friends was that they were metallic. I'm not sure why, but in the late 80's we were enthralled by anything metallic, iridescent, holographic, or any combination thereof. Unfortunately, Spectra kind of missed the mark. You can see that they tried to play up the femininity of the dolls by putting them in the laciest, frilliest clothes they could find, but they couldn't change the fact that they had the very un-feminine characteristic of (supposedly) metal bodies. A toy with a human head and metal body can only function as a crime fighter or superhero. You can't turn it into a fashion doll. Maybe they're the hottest chicks on planet Shimmeron, but we earth girls weren't buying it (or asking for it on Santa's knee.) The creepiest thing for me is the bed. If you read the description, the "Spectra Buffamatic" actually has a mattress that rotates under your doll to buff her up, shiny as a new car. It's just so wrong...